Specifically, myself…

I’m entering a submission grappling tournament on Sunday. It’s the first time I’ve competed since 2010, and I’m a bit nervous about the whole thing. Sometimes, it works out okay:

First tourney, first match.

Other times, not so much:

Being helped up after my second match. This guy used my nose as a fulcrum for an Americana Arm-lock. The sound it made was so horrible, the guy and the ref thought he tore all the ligaments in my left arm…

Anyhow, I know going into this that I don’t train more than a couple times a week at the most. And that’s probably not optimal for competition. I watched this video the other day, and realized I’m more of an “progress oriented” person rather than a “tap oriented” person.

Part of the reason I could never be a fighter, despite my love of jujitsu, is that I lack that fire. That hyper competitiveness. Every now and then I get that motivation in class, and become a nightmare for whomever happens to be working with me at the time. 98% of the time, I’m okay getting tapped. I frequently put myself in terrible positions if only to work my way out of them.

So in three days, I need to change my whole perspective on rolling, if only for a few hours. I am not getting on those mats to get better. I am as good as I’m going to be on that day, at that time… On those mats, I am going to roll my heart out, test my skills, and see what exactly I’m made of…

Wish me luck.